The Emergence of Happiness

Painting by Alexander Sokht

If I keep a green bough in my heart, the singing bird will come.” ~ Chinese proverb

Some of us may have been fortunate early in life to have had a wisdom person teach us through storytelling and by example, the secret to happiness. It’s a wonderfully special gift to learn how to conjure up happiness, witnessing another live a happy life no matter what the paths of the days are like – especially those crooked paths, where great inner strength is required. The crooked paths test our confidence and faith, yet happy people seem to navigate life with a particularly balanced inner compass.

Learning the art of happiness in our youth prevents us from falling deeply into the illusive trap that happiness is something outside of us to pursue. And most of us in today’s world of high speed tech, unrestrained competition, unlimited data, and disposable consumerism aren’t as fortunate to find a concrete example of nourishing happiness, unfortunately.

Instant gratification from external things becomes the tendency, and if we don’t get what we want now, well… we ease into an unhappy tantrum and give up.

We struggle to find happiness. We create and pass on belief systems that say, “I’ll be happy when I do this or have that. One of my spiritual teachers referred to this malady as “destination perfectionism.” At the time I was with her, she was referring to me. I had been one of the infected who believed that when I retired, for example, I could do something or be something more. That illusion melted when two years later I ended a 26 year Human Resources career, and realized my path would take a 360 degree turn onto another highway. The next chapter of my life wasn’t going to be put on hold any longer simply because I had a false belief that I had to wait. Destiny had called.

In truth, the “when I get there” mantra we tell ourselves means that we can’t quite rest easy and truly feel good until after something has arrived, which is always future oriented. What is that something? It’s usually the perfect job, the perfect house, the perfect relationship, the perfect body, the perfect beauty, the perfect wardrobe, the perfect... yawn… fill in the blank... This illness also includes people who refer to retirement as the only point in life when they’re free to learn to play a musical instrument, take that photography or cooking class, travel, read, volunteer, or RELAX!

How did we get to be so empty of happiness and become the greatest schleppers (Yiddish for trudging and dragging our way through life) in today’s world? An excellent question to stop and ask ourselves is, “Am I basically a happy person?” Asking the question then urges us to ask a few more questions that begin with “Why.”

But first, it’s critical to understand where happiness really comes from. Because if we don’t learn the art of happiness, schlepping our way through life comes creeping back. Let’s try and get our heads fastened on straight.

For those of us who didn’t have the example of the happy spiritual wise person as children, we must learn three very important rules to help us shed false beliefs:

What Happiness Is Not

Happiness is NOT directly an object or a person. Happiness is NOT directly the pursuit of something. Happiness is NOT something we have to wait for.

Now we can move forward…

Where Does Happiness Come From?

Happiness blooms within us naturally as the result of the patterns of our thoughts, our actions, and what we believe about ourselves in the world. We view the cup of life is full instead of empty.

I believe happiness produces a feeling like a gentle undercurrent of flowing peaceful contentment. We don’t specifically think about being happy as much as we just live it – because we simply are. It comes from a perpetual state of being in gratitude and appreciation for what we have, and trust that what we need will come to us with the understanding that when we participate to do our part, the Universe takes care of the rest.

Begin to Create Happiness

We can begin cultivating gratitude and appreciation by naming all the things we’re grateful for at the end of every day. Interestingly, the ordinary things that we take for granted in daily life are those things that fill our hearts:

Good health, friends and family, peaceful sanctuary of home, humor/laughter, sounds and beauty of nature, a comfy warm bed, receiving and giving a helping hand, good food, vase of flowers, a smile, a hug, a hot bath, a good book, quiet time, simple cleanliness and organization, beautiful music, tending a garden, good conversation, animal companionship, kindness and support, etc… The list is endless.

We can forget to include in our gratitude list the fact that we are spiritual beings who can discover and pursue our individual meaning and purpose in life. We have the gift of free will – to choose, to create opportunities and to change.

We must never measure our true worth by money and real estate. If our only values in life are material, we’ve stripped away our inclination toward happiness as spiritual beings because we’ll be perpetually chasing after that next thing.

A Few Tips That Help Happiness Grow

• Life isn’t all or nothing. It about living fully in the present and doing what we are able to do and what we want do – that’s really all we can do. Sometimes life gives us half of the pie and not all of it. Be happy to have gotten half! Consider sharing a piece.
• Don’t forget to continually appreciate all that we have now. It’s natural to dream and strive for our heart’s desire, but continually chasing after, wrestling with, and forcing life when we don’t have to, is NO FUN at all, and takes us out of the present.
• Patience! It, whatever it is, doesn’t have to be done all at once. What can? Small goals might be accomplished in a short time, but the big ones take planning, perseverance, and action, one step at a time. Happiness is the tortoise who remembered his journey!
• Following through to completion is rewarding and fulfilling.
• Why wait? Find a practical way and do it! We might not be in the physical realm tomorrow!
• Think positive thoughts. Believe the Universe is good. Create a nest of gratitude and compassion in the heart.

It all comes down to this – happiness is a conscious choice. Let happiness be the eternal kettle bubbling full of goodness from which we receive profound spiritual nourishment. It’s only natural that happiness is a byproduct of living the grateful life.

Resources:

Book: “The Art of Happiness” by HH Dalai Lama & Howard C. Cutler
Book: “Choosing Happiness: Life and Soul Essentials” by Stephanie Dowrick
Book: “Oneness With All Life” by Eckhart Tolle

Affirmation for this month – Gratitude

Today, I give thanks for what is good in my life right now. I am content and grateful for all I have that is honest, genuine, and beautiful, and I share my blessings with others.

Live in beauty and be well - Triza Schultz

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